


babysitting

by queerjemmy



Series: historical text crew [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:12:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerjemmy/pseuds/queerjemmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>james's family comes up to new york and needs a babysitter for a week. james, aaron, and thomas are aforementioned babysitter(s).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is so s h o r t ill probably write more tmrw

madisims >> burr(ito), jefferdaddy

madisims: my family's coming up to nyc for the week and my parents want all of my siblings to stay w/ us so they can have some ~alone time~  
burr(ito): ok but don't u have like 60000 siblings  
madisims: kinda ,, but like some of them are like high school and middle school aged so they can help out a lot   
burr(ito): ...okay  
madisims: @ tommy wbu  
jefferdaddy: sounds good bc reuben loves me  
burr(ito): i have proof of that  
jefferdaddy: aaron and i are watching the nightly news and cuddling #goals  
madisims: im going to pick them up now  
madisims: we have to rent three cars  
jefferdaddy: we have a Subaru just for torple  
burr(ito): THOMAS WE DONT NEED A SUBARU JUST FOR THE GERBIL  
burr(ito): it's also rlly comfy in the back so the person in the back can still feel nice & fuzzy  
jefferdaddy: how did i not score u sooner  
madisims: tbh same  
burr(ito): all feelings are reciprocated  
madisims: <333333  
jefferdaddy: <333333  
burr(ito): <333333  
jefferdaddy: if jemmy has six 3's @ the end of his heart  
jefferdaddy: and so do i  
jefferdaddy: and so does a-a-ron,,  
jefferson: ¡¡¡ 666 !!!  
burr(ito): im dating a loser  
madisims: nelly's an emo now so we're going to hot topic to get mcr t-shirts  
burr(ito): im dating multiple losers  
jefferdaddy: if u take all of the vowels out of mercer (as in general mercer) u get ... mrcr  
jefferdaddy: and if u remove that first r  
jefferdaddy: u get   
burr(ito): no  
jefferdaddy: m  
madisims: "when did you find out what the Lenny face was?"  
"when ambrose's nudes got leaked."  
"there's a reason i don't live in virginia anymore."  
jefferdaddy: c  
jefferdaddy: r  
burr(ito): im so  
burr(ito): no one cares abt general mercer anymore  
jefferdaddy: I DO  
burr(ito): he diED BEFORE MCR  
madisims: what even is going on here  
burr(ito): who's taking the late shift for james's siblings  
jefferdaddy: i got u both dw dudes  
jefferdaddy: don't worry they're smol i love them and I have smol siblings so i know how to take care of little kids  
madisims: YOU JUST REFERRED TO YOUR TWO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AS "DUDES" I WANT A DIVORCE  
burr(ito): ^^^^^^^^^^^^  
jefferdaddy: ope sorry my dudes  
jefferdaddy: SJIT IM JUST SO USED TO SAYING "MY DUDE" BC I TALK LIKE THAT I   
burr(ito): protect him  
madisims: at all costs  
burr(ito): especially when he starts arguing  
madisims: that's true  
jefferdaddy: ok ,, changing the OFFENSIVE subject ,, when u gonna be home w/ the lil kiddos  
madisims: 15 minutes  
burr(ito): !!!! thomas get sheets out of the closet we need to get the guest bedroom ready  
jefferdaddy: dammit i wore lingerie today for n o t h i n g  
burr(ito): uh jemmy can u take a detour  
madisims: ok dinner it is I'll see u both in an hour or so  
jefferdaddy: yES TODAY WAS NOT A LOST CAUSE  
madisims: "do you want applebees?"  
"i want less oppressive government, that's what i want!" -catlett but i blame will and amb for letting them watch parks and rec  
madisims: the lack of response makes me believe that u two are, for lack of better words, doing the 'diddly do'  
madisims: have fun w/ that that's the last d ur getting all week bc no smex while my SIBLINGS are here


	2. the first nite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jemmy's littlest brother wakes those gays up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

jefferdaddy >> madisims, burr(ito)

jefferdaddy: UPDATE REUBEN NO LONGER LOVES ME WTF DID I DO JEMMY  
jefferdaddy: JEMMY RESPOND PLEASE I DONT KNWO WHAT TO SO  
madisims: thomas, go back to bed, snuggle with aaron. i'll take care of reuben.  
madisims: you've never heard of a diaper, have you?  
jefferdaddy: i have  
jefferdaddy: i just don't know how to like put them on/take them off of babies  
madisims: Thomas "I Know How To Take Care Of Little Kids" Jefferson  
madisims: why the fuuck u lion(el richie)  
jefferdaddy: u rlly do love lionel richie don't u  
madisims: ye  
madisims: Thomas "Reuben Loves Me" Jefferson  
jefferdaddy: i miSJUDGED MY CAPABILITIES  
jefferdaddy: I WOKe AARON UP  
jefferdaddy: CAN WE WATCH A MOVIE  
burr(ito): no, go back to sleep. let james finish taking care of reuben, and then we can all go back to sleep.  
madisims: i was gonna say yes  
jefferdaddy: WUICK JEMMY HOW DO WE BRIBE BURR  
madisims: @ a-a-ron u can be the small spoon and we can watch mulan   
burr(ito): ok im in  
jefferdaddy: when ur bf who's on his period is literally the smolest of spoons  
madisims: i didn't know our local smolest of the smols was on his period bby im sorry :(((  
burr(ito): it's fine bby don't worry just bring reuben and the mulan dvd  
burr(ito): i can hold reuben btw  
jefferdaddy: wow i am undeserving  
burr(ito): damn right hon  
madisims: gooooood lord  
madisims: yikeeeees tommy u got roasted  
jefferdaddy: im going to purposefully out a fORK IN THE ELECTRIC SOCKET TOMLRROW   
burr(ito): wtF NO NOT AGAIN NOT ON PURPOSE WE CANNOT HAVE NICE THINGS BC OF THIS THIMAS  
madisims: "tomlrrow"  
madisims: "thimas"  
jefferdaddy: "madisims"  
burr(ito): get fuckt bby  
madisims: jeffy go get the door i have a child in my arms  
burr(ito): yaaaaay reuben  
jefferdaddy: im so in love rn  
jefferdaddy: like both of u just 11/10 are amazing and great and i love u both sm  
burr(ito): thank you so much, thomas !! idk where I would be w/o ur guys's continued luv and support  
madisims: what a sap  
madisims: but the blood which runs through my veins has your names sewn into each and every cell, every fiber of my being is yours for the taking  
burr(ito): IM THE SAP  
jefferdaddy: im the tree  
madisims: i  
madisims: we're all losers   
jefferdaddy: that's tru  
burr(ito): imma fall asleep soon bc im sleepy and everything hurst  
burr(ito): if u all wanna move reuben go ahead  
madisims: reuby loves u dw hon  
jefferdaddy: he fell asleep so quick  
madisims: he was tired don't blame him  
jefferdaddy: he looks so good and pure when he's sleeping i l o ve it  
madisims: that's really gay   
jefferdaddy: what else do you expect  
madisims: go to sleep honey   
jefferdaddy: okay, do u think reuben's gonna b alright ????  
madisims: yeah bby don't worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okok i love this au


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been over a month omg hi guys i've been on a rollercoaster of events & emotions !! hmu on tumblr: abbaeadams

burr(ito) >> jefferdaddy, madisims

burr(ito): alright which one of u fuckers tucked me in  
jefferdaddy: me  
madisims: i did that while putting reuben back to bed after mulan ended  
jefferdaddy: I WAS STEALTHY AS SHIT LIKE I MANAGED NOT TO WAKE U UP WHILE GETTING OUT OF MY BIG SPOON POSITION GIVE ME AN ACADEMY AWARD  
madisims: ambrose deserves one for how well he acts like his nudes didn't get leaked  
burr(ito): isn't he like 19 ??  
madisims: lmao yep  
madisims: it's virginia  
burr(ito): i   
burr(ito): okay then  
jefferdaddy: i made breakfast  
madisims: u poured cereal for little kids  
jefferdaddy: there are two sides to every story  
burr(ito): im gonna go back to sleep  
madisims: okee dokee im gonna start a game of monopoly to keep everyone occupied the entire day  
jefferdaddy: IN FHE INSTRUCTIONS PAMPHLET IT SAYS FOR A SHORT GAME IT TAKES 90 MINUTES  
madisims: e x a c t l y  
jefferdaddy: u know the younger kids are gonna go apeshit when the figure out how long it takes to play  
madisims: ssh  
madisims: nobody needs to know  
jefferdaddy: lmao ham said that before maria entered his bed  
jefferdaddy: and eventually the entire weird schuyler/laurens/lafayette/mulligan/hamilton squad  
madisims: jfc that's a lot of names  
jefferdaddy: jefferson-madison or madison-jefferson doesn't sound good so THEORETICALLY if we ever got married it would probably be u or me with aaron  
madisims: honey look up from ur phone  
jefferdaddy: WHAT GE FUCK  
madisims: they're little kids  
jefferdaddy: ITS COMMON SENSE NOT TO POUR THE MILK DIRECTLY INTO THE CEREAL BOX  
jefferdaddy: ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION  
burr(ito): i have risen i can clean it up go get them started with monopoly  
burr(ito): im gonna make pop tarts  
jefferdaddy: ur a blessing  
jefferdaddy: like legit  
burr(ito): look up again  
jefferdaddy: im going on phone probation again :((  
madisims: lmao yep   
burr(ito): how do we reach the shelf we're both shorter than him @ jimjem  
madisims: JIMJEM  
madisims: "I MISS THIS TWO SECONDS AFTER PROBATION" -jeffy before leading the small army that is my siblings into the living room   
burr(ito): "the small army"  
burr(ito): HOLY SHIT UR SIBLINGS COULD BE THE VON TRAPPS  
madisims: they can't sing and there's no nazis to run from  
burr(ito): 1. neither can britney spears but that didn't stop her 2. there are trump supporters  
madisims: i  
madisims: who would be julie andrews  
burr(ito): me bc ur siblings luv me  
madisims: where is the lie  
madisims: i think thomas is getting into trouble  
burr(ito): ill finish, go help him out  
madisims: AMBROSE WAS ABOUT O LIGHT TOMMYS HAIR ON FIRE  
burr(ito): WHAT THE FUK  
burr(ito): THAT N E V E R HAPPENED TO THE VON TRAPPS  
madisims: THERE WERENT ENOJGH MONOPOLY PIECES SO AMBROSE AND THOMAS WERE FIGHTING FOR A SPIT  
burr(ito): THOMAS IS A COLLEGE GRADUATE AND AMBROSE GOT HIS NUDES LEAKED IN SOPHOMORE YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL HOW IS THIS FAIR  
madisims: FUCK   
madisims: HE SPIT GUM IN HIS HAIR B4 I COULD GET THME APART  
madisims: im gonna play with my siblings thomas can help u  
madisims: since our local disaster will be out of any major disaster's way,, he can have his phone back  
jefferdaddy: hi  
burr(ito): if u wipe up all the spilled milk we can go watch community and cuddle  
jefferdaddy: for that i'd lick it up like a cat  
burr(ito): we're not that kinky  
madisims: ambrose apologizes  
burr(ito): we might need scissors for the gum  
jefferdaddy: my hair can't take it  
burr(ito): im sorry doc...i don't think the hair's gonna make it  
madisims: HES A DAMN GOOD DOCTOR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW OVER A MONTH I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT I ??   
> thank !! u !! so !! much !! for !! reading !! u !! are !! gorgeous !!


	4. i think this is five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baaaaaack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this isn't too late to update

babysitting pt. 4

madisims >> burr(ito), jefferdaddy

madisims: nelly won monopoly  
burr(ito): which one is that  
madisims: 14 yr old  
jefferdaddy: i hereby challenge aaron birb to a competition to see who can correctly identify the most madison siblings  
burr(ito): ur on  
madisims: ur review time starts now. the challenge isn't until tomorrow morning  
madisims: im adding frankie  
madisims: i hear no objections 

madisims has added francis isn't a girls name

madisims: o shit waddup  
francis isn't a girls name: what is dat boi   
madisims: d inggdingding time for double jeopardy   
francis isn't a girls name: i worry abt u sometimes  
madisims: the same goes to u  
francis isn't a girls name: awwh thanks dude  
madisims: "dude"  
madisims: thomas and aaron are having a competition to see who can name more of our siblings tmrw morning  
francis isn't a girls name: is that why they're frantically writing down everyone's names and brief descriptions of them  
francis isn't a girls name: did mom and dad forget to bring the flash cards  
madisims: lmao no i just don't want them to have it THAT easy  
madisims: i had to use the flash cards the other day  
madisims: i got lizzie and sarah mixed up  
francis isn't a girls name: they're four years apart  
francis isn't a girls name: u got a ten year old mixed up with a six year old  
madisims: don't bully me  
francis isn't a girls name: gimme ur lunch money k i d  
madisims: how abt i buy u lunch  
francis isn't a girls name: damn that's smooth  
madisims: bois nite out  
madisims: olive garden  
francis isn't a girls name: OF A L L THE PLACES  
francis isn't a girls name: OLIVE GARDEN  
madisims: y ep my bud works there  
madisims: she knows how to get me tables quick  
madisims: just say the name peggy and suddenly a girl probably around ur age will r u n over to u and if u introduce yo self as jemmy's friends she got u covered  
francis isn't a girls name: is this a crime ring   
madisims: no peggy just likes getting attention and giving ppl attention  
francis isn't a girls name: is she kewt  
madisims: cute ??  
madisims: as a gay dude,, she's pretty cute i guess but ur not goin out w/ her lmao  
francis isn't a girls name: drats,, foiled again  
madisims: besides her bfs would beat the shit outta u  
francis isn't a girls name: are THHEY cute  
madisims: thhey are   
francis isn't a girls name: did u get pokemon go  
madisims: yes  
francis isn't a girls name: good shit amirite  
madisims: yes  
burr(ito): AHHHHHHH THE MADISON KIDS ARE TEAM KIMYE  
jefferdaddy: WELL SAME I MEAN  
burr(ito): I WAS LIKE "OH HI NELLY WHAT DO U THINK OF ME AND JEMMY AND TOM DATING"  
burr(ito): "I WISH TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THE NARRATIVE I NEVER ASKED TO BE A PART OF"  
jefferdaddy: did u mean: Eliza  
madisims: DO NOT TALK ABT MY ANGEL BABY LIKE THIS   
madisims: DO NOT SLANDER HER NAME FOR YOUR OWN PETTY REASONS GOD  
jefferdaddy: not the first time u have called me god  
madisims: I NEVER HAVE U LOSER  
burr(ito): hoo jeffy ur gonna get punished for being mean to daddy  
burr(ito): I MEANT DADDY  
madisims: aaron i have never seen this part of u before   
jefferdaddy: i changed the autocorrect thing to correct "jemmy" to "daddy" and i am so proud   
burr(ito): i don't know how to fix it  
francis isn't a girls name: JAMES  
francis isn't a girls name: IM TELLING MOM  
madisims: ill twll mom you used their sex toys u found while they were away  
burr(ito): i wish i had a family  
jefferdaddy: IM COMING AIRBEAR  
burr(ito): ruv u tommy  
burr(ito): ruv u daddy  
burr(ito): tommmyyyyy change it back:((  
jefferdaddy: ok schmoopie  
madisims: i love u guys sm  
francis isn't a girls name: G A Y  
madisims: i walked in and u were blowing off abe woodhull bc that's not gay  
francis isn't a girls name: WE SAID NO HOMO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to sound desperate but i thrive off of positive feedback & it inspires me tysm for reading i ruv u !! u are an awesome human being don't let anyone tell u otherwise !!


	5. actual chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SO LATE AHAHSISOAJHAHA I FEEL TERRIBLE ILY ALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally can't believe it's been so long since i updated??

babysitting pt. 5

jefferdaddy >> madisims, burr(ito), francis isn't a girls name

jefferdaddy: AHHHHHSHSHHAQJQOQOALZMDKCO I KKCSKCOL LEK  
francis isn't a girls name: is that a climax  
burr(ito): frankie is not innocent why is he like this  
francis isn't a girls name: im right here u know  
madisims: o he knows  
jefferdaddy: ...knows the way to worship how we aaaaAAAAAAREEEE  
burr(ito): u motherfucking emo  
jefferdaddy: you're just jealous xD  
jefferdaddy: i LOVE Gerard Way!1!1!   
francis isn't a girls name: is he being serious 

francis isn't a girls name has left the chat

jefferdaddy: ok he gone  
madisims: wdym ??  
burr(ito): me, tommy and the rest of the madison siblings believe in sam/frankie we need to get them to admit that, yes, they homo  
madisims: sam who ??  
jefferdaddy: washington  
burr(ito): gwash's little bro  
madisims: my pUre brOthEr   
burr(ito): i've seen your brothers' (PLURAL) nudes longer than i ever saw my parents  
jefferdaddy: PROTECT AARON ??  
burr(ito): i refuse to be protected unless u forfeit  
jefferdaddy: how about a deal;))  
burr(ito): u negotiate kinks like deal or no deal  
madisims: too real  
jefferdaddy: BACK TO FRANKIE  
jefferdaddy: we can add ambrose and millie  
madisims: washington's little sister??  
jefferdaddy: ya

jefferdaddy has added nectar and kidzbopfucker

jefferdaddy: i have no clue which one's which  
madisims: i know ambrose is nectar bc Ambrose sounds like ambrosia which was the NectarOfTheGods(TM) and so nectar  
kidzbopfucker: if this is abt getting sam and frankie to admit they're in love u first have to have them admit that they actually had sex that one time  
nectar: I REMEMBER THAT  
nectar: THE FOUR OF US WERE ON A ROADTRIP  
nectar: AND WE WERE STAYING IN A MOTEL 6 AND ME AND MILLIE WERE IN ONE ROOM AND THEY WERE IN THE OTHER  
nectar: kinkshame frankie bc he is a total bottom  
madisims: WHY DO I KEEP HEARIG ABOUT MY IMPURE SIBLIGNS  
burr(ito): harambe didn't die for this  
jefferdaddy: harambe died after amb's nudes leaked bc he was laughin so hard  
nectar: bicch kids in my school said their dick was the size of the child harambe captured  
burr(ito): MY INNOCENT EYES??  
kidzbopfucker: i was there too fam  
madisims: will the competition ever begin/end  
nectar: JUST GIVE THEM THE FLASHCSRDS BRUH  
madisims: they can figure it out by themselves  
kidzbopfucker: the Schuyler family is so much less toxic than this one  
madisims: how would u kno  
kidzbopfucker: im dating cornelia?? we're going to the same college??  
madisims: WHEN THE FUCK  
burr(ito): jemmy just got, what the kids call, 'scalped'  
jefferdaddy: that's when u roast someone babe  
burr(ito): ohh ok i am a terrible memer but i'm an okay lover  
jefferdaddy: A GREAT LOVER  
jefferdaddy: LITERALLY YOU AND JEMMY MAKE ME SO HARD

kidzbopfucker has left the chat

nectar has left the chat

jefferdaddy: at least we know sam and frankie had sex!!  
burr(ito): that could make it worse  
madisims: yeah like i slept with peggy schuyler once and whenever we see each other at mutual gatherings or whatever we just awkwardly glance at each other and walk away  
madisims: she's into collars  
burr(ito): yknow i could have gone my entire life without knowing that  
burr(ito): but yknow  
burr(ito): "whatevs"  
burr(ito): fr tho i don't wanna do the comp  
jefferdaddy: I WIN  
jefferdaddy: AND I CAN NAME THEM ALL TOO  
madisims: u wanna go ,, punk??  
jefferdaddy: i am over a foot taller than u  
madisims: HUH U PUNK BITCH  
madisims: I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE VON TRAPP FAMILY BLAZIN IT IN THE BACKGROUND  
jefferdaddy: they're so little stooop  
jefferdaddy: james francis ambrose catlett nelly will sarah stephen lizzie conway reuben   
jefferdaddy: *drops mic*  
burr(ito): just for that i'll make u a milkshake and one for a madison sibling of ur choosing  
jefferdaddy: i choose catlett i love them  
madisims: I'm putting the 10&unders to bed mmkay  
burr(ito): okay, thank you babe  
madisims: no problem babe  
jefferdaddy: sah babe  
burr(ito): no more milkshake for u   
jefferdaddy: AH  
jefferdaddy: NOOOO O O O O O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably a few more texting fics coming soon (soon is relative) stay tuned ily all 
> 
> ps: if ur reading this u look fire today pal

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading ahhh !!!! pls give feedback bc i wanna know if there's anything i could improve on or anything you'd want to see


End file.
